passions

the things that excite you are the same things i would pursue if i had no unwanted obligations. this has nothing to do with my feelings for you, in its origin: it's been true for years. Dad's carpentry is probably the original inspiration for the crafting, along with my INTJ-ity. orchestration came from music in general, and concert band and the Church of Christ acapella style in particular.

all boyish obsession aside: it isn't true that i just like saying the word ("Danica"). this whole mess would be very simple to clean up if there were nothing substantial to it.

but there is, and it's the worst thing ever. i could probly do without the frosting, as delectable as it seems it would be. okay maybe i couldn't... but it isn't bothering me the way the cake is bothering me. aside from the fact that the cake isn't (and probably never would be) interested in me, it seems tailor-made for me. sorry for the "it" language.

a closer relationship with you is the best thing that's ever been unavailable to me.

Brandon asked me last night, "should i keep laying low? i know you said you're withdrawing from people. how much of Danica do you want to see? how much of me do you want to see?"

i had a choice at that point to either laugh hysterically or cover my face in shame and angueesh. i chose the latter. laughing would have been disrespectful and way too revealing.

how much do i want to see? just one of the five [maybe six] senses?!

don't be ridiculous, Brandon.