rationalypoos

things i know, and need the hypothetical you to know that i know:

• if the inevitable occurs (see what i did there?) and you turn me down, i will be okay. in fact i'll be greatly blessed [in totally different ways] because that's how God rolls in my life, and He will continue directing that life toward Good, as He always has done and has planned to do.
   
• my thoughts & feelings about you are somewhat morphed, or tinted, or both or something, because of the surrounding circumstances. (unfortunately i cannot say exactly how, especially from within. but it's still important for me to know it.)
  
• my care for you is distinct and [even now] mostly separate from my romantic inclinations. i spoke of this in an earlier post but i need to say it with clarity here: were someone to rob me of my capability for romance entirely, i would still love you. storge?
  
• my continuing contributions to this post are only partly a way of managing my inner tumult. they are also the sweetest daydream i've known, and my enjoyment of them makes me partially... hedonistic? not sure how harsh i should be on myself, especially in light of how most other people i know would handle something like this. but i must confess it.