i hope you will view this one confessed flaw of mine as simply a piece of a large and complex whole, rather than as a defining trait. i'm drawing attention to it, though, so perhaps if you do judge me by it, i should blame me first.
i'm supes jealous of Ryan, who lives with you and gets to interact with you all the freakin' time, and Jerad who's only one step below that. i understand why, and i get that my situation as well as my desire both disqualify me... but wow. i really wish i could have even half of the time either of them gets with you.
when i have i not enjoyed your company (excluding conflict-times)? when have i ever felt like, "yeah, i want to hang out with someone, but not Danica" ? when have i ever thought to myself, "i wish Danica would pay me less attention and leave me alone" ???
i'm desperate not only for things i want, but things i need. i won't act on my desperation (at least not in a way that brings me closer to what my heart wants), but that doesn't change how i feel.
today i was thrilled to hear you say my name, to joke with you, to joke (mostly) about your boobs like we always do (wow... creeper. probly shouldn't mention that, even on this secret blog of adoration), to see how people enjoy your company and you theirs.
i want more. and i get upset when others get a lot. that's probly wrong.
help me somehow?
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