the sea of isaialee is rough tonight.
i think it's all the recent contact-- phoning (like we did a couple times back when the friendship was still sort of pristine), being invited hiking, texting... it's just a lot. and Thursday is my first counseling session with her in years. very rough tonight.
two drafts sit in this blog waiting to be finished, but i don't have the energy. i need to write them. they are helpful for explaining myself to myself, which is extremely necessary in this chapter. perhaps it'll even become useful for explaining myself to you later on. i don't know for sure.
what i know at the moment is that 1) i'm fallen deeply for a certain turbulent moon-ridden girl, and even the mere memory of her arrests me, and 2) i'm still married to someone to whom i should never have become so vulnerable.
yea. the sea's rough, but more objectively, i'm neither more nor less effed than i was months ago. i guess not much time has really passed.
eff. where's this button for life? [FF>>]
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