i already gave you the confluence speech and explained how i just want more friendypoos with you than i ever have with anyone else (to the point where the hypothetical 'we' would have to admit that it isn't simply friendshipypoo anymore), so now apparently it's ventypoo.blogspot.com.
i give of myself over and over, and it's 50/50 whether Val will like it and ask for more, or spit venom at me. i dislike mistreatment, but it's especially hurtful when it comes as a reply to love. i feel like vomiting through my eyes and gushing tears out my mouth. that doesn't make sense. my brain is fried from too much emotional vulnerability and i hate being separated from you and what i really hope is that Valerie gets fed up at all of my kind and vulnerable acts and just divorces me so i can tell you how i feel and ask you to give you & me a chance at some point in the future.
i really don't have this attitude all the time. elsewhere i pray (publicly and privately) and give voice to my morals and commitments. here (this time anyway) is vomit.blogspot.com.
i may delete this later.
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